An in-depth personality study. Or: opposites attract. Or: how I drive Nate nuts.

Last week at my moms group, I had to emcee. I really hate emceeing, because being up in front of a crowd is not my cup of tea. I guess what I really don't like is feeling nervous. Emceeing is not good for my nerves. Anywho, I did it, and I survived.

So I was thinking I would share with you what I shared with the moms group, mostly because Nate is nosy and wants to know what I have to say about him in front of large groups of women. So here is the gist of what I talked about, for him to read, and you as well.

When Nate and I were engaged I just thought we had so much in common.

As you can see, what we had in common was that we liked each other: a lot.

I was 20 and engaged when this picture was taken. I now think that 20-year-old engaged people are ridiculous.

Okay, so we now have nearly 10 years of marriage under our belt, a total of about 12 years knowing each other, and lessons have been learned. And we are still learning. I asked Nate what he thought about our personalities, and I also made my own list of personality characteristics, and as it turns out, when it comes to personalities we really couldn't be more different. We'll start with Nate.

Nate is calculating. As in, he never stops thinking, and his mind is a calculator. His mind is always running, and he often loses sleep because he can’t stop thinking.

Goal-oriented. Nate began planning for retirement when he was 17. Nate also routinely plans and completes projects. Nate planned our wedding, and it was very concise and to the point. For him, it was not something that needed to be a huge event – the goal was that we were to be wed in as short a time as possible. So it was in the middle of the morning, everything was simple, there was no special music, no lighting of any candles, none of that. We each had one attendant, we said vows, there was string music for us to walk up and down the aisle, we ate chicken salad, we thanked everyone for coming, and then we got out of there.

Nate invests. When we were engaged, he bought me a rain jacket instead of lots of flowers. A rain jacket, he explained, will never wilt. Plus it was a really, really nice rain jacket that could keep me dry even in a tsunami, and it was also my favorite color.

Nate is super-organized. Everything from our tax information to our old Nintendo cheat sheets are neatly filed away. And after we got married, I realized that he folds his dirty laundry.

Nate likes to be alone. Sometimes I am concerned that I am Nate’s only really good friend. Nate is not concerned about that at all. Don’t get me wrong, he’s not a hermit, but he likes his space.

Nate is not an emotional person. I saw tears in his eyes when we were saying our vows. That was about ten years ago. The end.

Nate is competitive. Sports, Uno, whatever – he plays hard and he will whoop you or die trying. I do not play games with Nate.

Nate is very precise. Everything has to be just-so. I cannot think of a time when I have heard Nate say: “that’s close enough.”

Nate loves to analyze things. Perhaps this is why he loves his job; he works in fraud analytics. There is nothing that makes him happier than to bust people who break the rules, then he gets to make new rules, and do lots of math all at the same time. Heaven for him.

Nate is ridiculously predictable and always orders the same thing when we eat out – whatever it is, it contains bacon.

Nate likes rules. He loves doing taxes. And guess what, he did our taxes twice this year, because I made the small oversight of completely forgetting about half of my income I earned last year. That’s right, when my first tax form came in early in January he said, “Is this all? Didn’t you make more?” “No honey, I’m sure that was it! Seems about right!” He went ahead and filed our taxes. So the day after we got our return, guess what came in the mail – my other earning statement. Whoops. Did he complain? No. He just re-filed our taxes, no questions asked, no rolling of eyes. I couldn’t figure out if he was annoyed with me or happy to crunch numbers all over again. But deep down, I’m sure he thinking, she had no idea what her income was - what a flake!

Which brings things to me. Nate's polar opposite.

I do not really plan ahead. It never occurred to me that retirement or investments applied to me as a teenager. Instead, I’m more prone to be spontaneous, which at times, is a little alarming for Nate.

I dream about a lot of projects that I want to work on – and I am still working on some of those projects. Sometimes to feel organized and accomplished, I make lists of all the projects I want to do because I have way too many hobbies. I write my lists on pretty paper with one of my ten favorite pens. {Nate refers to me as being “artsy-fartsy.”}

I am not a math person. I barely squeaked a passing grade in algebra in college (I think the professor passed me just because he felt sorry for me) and I have failed out of chemistry more than once. But I almost completed a semester of microeconomics once. I’m not dumb, okay? But it is a fact that math has never been my thing.

I love having lots of people around. There’s something cozy about being surrounded by a lot of wonderful people. Even if it's at the grocery store and I don’t know them.

I love talking to people and sharing stories and thoughts with them. Nate says I can’t live without my 300 billion closest friends, whom I refer to as “kindred spirits”. Nate accuses me of becoming best friends with tellers, cashiers – anyone who is breathing, pretty much. But talking to my friends gives me energy; something I am sure many gals can relate to.

I order different things at restaurants. It all depends on what mood I’m in; what the temperature is; what season it is; what the last thing I ate was; am I eating this meal with people I don’t really know, so I should order something I can eat with a fork and be more neat, as opposed to ordering a burger or wrap, which is potentially messy, etc.

I do not always return library books on time. That's right, I am a rule-breaker. There are fees. I do not tell Nate about my library fees. I am also sometimes late to appointments, and I routinely come home shortly after leaving the house because I forgot my wallet. I also like to leave things everywhere I go.

I strongly consider the aesthetic side of things. If it looks pretty, then surely it’s good enough. When we found out we were expecting number three and had to get a minivan, the first thing I thought of was (besides thinking this sounds expensive) golly, what color minivan should we get?

There are more, but I think I've covered enough ground by hitting some highlights. Nate and I have learned a lot from each other and have definitely grown from living with each other. I now plan things more in advance, have discovered a love for organization (more or less) and am fierce with my budget. Nate spends time with people other than me (well, every now and then) and actually enjoys socializing with other couples. We also give each other slack and grace when it comes to just being ourselves . . . Nate knew I would never sabotage our taxes on purpose - he just knew he was dealing with me in one of my worst scatterbrained moments, and it wasn't deliberate. I know Nate doesn't necessarily mean to make games no fun; he is just wired to be naturally competitive, something I just don't understand and I am okay with that. And I don't have to be worried or think that he's bored when he's sitting on the couch (alone) and taking care of emails, bills and crunching numbers - he actually likes doing that.

I consider myself blessed to be married to Nate. He is one good guy to put up with me.